Remote workers, freelancers, global nomads, consultant, travel writers and filmmakers: you know your work status but…what about your romantic status?
Single? Taken? Serial monogamist? Third wheel? Open relationship?
When you’re travelling the right box to check is all of them. In other words, yes, yes, and yes.
If you’re a traveler of the world, you’ve either got a lover waiting on ever port — or you aspire to.
Here are 10 tips to designing and enjoying a rich dating life while you travel.
1) Dating While Traveling? There’s An App For That!
The world of online dating has changed the world of real-life searching and hooking up. No longer do travelers have to divide work and play.
Use What’s App and Tinder judiciously to browse potential partners and start a conversation during the workday, while planning for drinks in the evening.
Well-seasoned travelers with specific preferences for their partners can even use a specialized website like Milf Area, geared towards finding singles in the area that share their proclivities.
2) Be Here and Now
To have a successful dating run while traveling, the most important part is to remain in the present. Too many travelers stay away from the dating around while traveling because they either think that saying good bye will be too hard for them.
This really needs a mindset shift: instead of thinking of the goodbyes, focus on all the wonderful memories you’ll be making. These don’t go away simply because you’re not together. And saying good bye doesn’t make it easy or mean there were no feelings involved — it’s simply that you both know how to be in the present.
3) Watch Out for Romance Scams
No matter where you travel in the world, whether you know how to blend in, speak the language, are a frequent traveler or just now embarking on your journey, leaving to a foreign place makes you somewhat vulnerable.
It doesn’t mean you’re a target but it does mean that you should exercise caution when you’re single and mingling.
If you’re looking for a legitimate relationship or companionship when you’re abroad, watch out for potential mates who seem too into way too quickly or people that wouldn’t normally “be interested” expressing physical attraction or emotional connection without any actual basis for doing so.
4) Stay Away From the Expat Community
There’s no hard and fast rule over dating in your age bracket, cultural group or even your gender group. When you’re travelling, everything is fair game and, as long as contesting adults are involved, you can take what comes your way.
But, for a more memorable and authentic experience, we recommend straying off the beaten path.
The difference between dating locally versus dating another person who is from your country/location/age group/experience range is best described like this.
It’s like staying at a resort made for tourists, doing “tourist” things, which can get isolating, insular and, sometimes, even incestuous (i.e. meeting and mingling with the same groups of people over and over again or hooking up with someone you know was with someone else you also vaguely know) versus seeing and experiencing everything the country has to offer by leaving the “safety” of your hotel room.
5) When In Rome…
Do as the Romans do — speak their language. You’re more likely to make more meaningful and authentic connections with someone you’re dating locally when you have at least a partial understanding and vocabulary of the local language.
And when you find yourself truly lost in translation, you can always resort to the cutest of alternatives: hand gestures and dumb charades.
6) Go On a Vacation…Within a Vacation
Something magical happens when you both go on “vacation” together. You’re relaxed and open to new experiences. If you’ve snagged a honey who you’re interested in and you know you’re doing to be in town for at least two weeks or more, why not take a weekend trip away together?
This will give you the feeling of being able to travel together without actually having to circumnavigate the repercussions of actually travelling together long-term or what this “means” for your relationship.
7) Don’t Make Promises You Won’t Keep
Ever heard of the one-night stand? Well, for some travelers, their “stands” last only as long as they’re in town — and, for the sake of fairness — everyone involved has a right to know.
If you’re straightforward with your partner with what you intend and what you’re looking for, not only will it be less mess and drama, you’re also likely to meet individuals who want exactly what you do.
8) Remain on the Same Page
When you’re travelling, by sheer numbers, you’re going to meet a lot of new people and these people are likely going to change from time to time.
It’s important that whomever you date while traveling is on the same page as you. And this includes agreements about exclusivity. Ask yourself and your partner: is it feasible to stay exclusive while encountering so many people?
Can you — or will you — still consider being together even if you and your “partner” are traveling and seeing others at the same time? Non-exclusivity while dating can be tricky so the best thing to do is lay your cards on the table.
9) Going The Distance?
Long-distance is that dreaded state of almost-limbo that many desperate couples resort to when they have no other avenue to make it work. It’s like a death knell that sort of gives the illusion of staying together but all it really does (in most cases) is prolong an inevitable break-up.
Unless — you knew this was coming, didn’t you — there is an obvious endgame in mind. If neither of you are working towards the same goal — like eventually being together long term and in a serious way, then maintaining a long distance relationship with someone you’re dating simply because you don’t want to end this yet is just a waste of everyone’s time.
If you’re with a non-traveler, for example, and they bring up long distance as a way of staying together make sure to set some clear boundaries about what you’re willing to do and what you won’t.
10) Don’t Travel For Love
And when that happens, however they make it through and make it happen, it’s pretty darn fantastic.
But don’t be fooled: to protect your heart and sanity, realize that you’re probably not the exception, you’re the rule.
When dating and travelling at the same time, the last thing you want to do is involve any form of the L-bomb. That means don’t make the mistake of falling in love and don’t travel in the hopes that you’ll find love.
Travelling should be undertaken as an end in itself, for your own experience and self development, besides any career perks.
And, of course, if you can mix business and pleasure together, go for it! Just keep these 10 tips in mind.